I stumbled upon a post on Reddit that stopped me in my tracks.
Here was a 37-year-old, single Filipino professional with multiple income streams, investments, a condo, a car, and a solid emergency fund.
By many standards, he was “set.”
And yet, he still felt like he was falling behind his friends—some of whom owned multiple properties, had traveled extensively, and seemed, at least on the surface, more “successful.”
He couldn’t shake off that feeling of insecurity and discontent, even though he knew he was in a good financial position.
Sound familiar?
This is a story many Filipinos know all too well.
We work hard, make the “right” financial moves, yet sometimes feel like it’s never enough.
There’s that nagging feeling that we’re “behind” because we’re comparing ourselves to others—friends, family, influencers on social media.
So, let’s dive into why so many of us feel this way, especially here in the Philippines, and more importantly, how we can start feeling more secure, content, and grounded in our own financial journeys.
The Comparison Trap: Why We Always Feel “Behind”
First, let’s talk about why this feeling is so common. Whether we realize it or not, comparison is deeply embedded in our culture.
From a young age, many of us were taught to look at what others were doing.
In school, we were compared to classmates; at family gatherings, we heard about the cousin who got into a top university, landed a high-paying job, or bought a house.
It’s part of our collective consciousness, and while it can be motivating, it also has a dark side: it’s easy to feel like we’re always falling short, no matter how well we’re actually doing.
In today’s world, social media has only amplified this comparison game.
We scroll through feeds full of people’s “highlight reels”—their travel photos, new cars, businesses, and condos.
This can create an overwhelming sense that we’re not achieving enough.
And here’s the reality: there will always be someone who appears to have more than us.
But here’s the kicker: feeling “behind” isn’t always about what we actually have or don’t have.
It’s about our perception of what we should have by a certain age or stage in life.
And that perception is largely shaped by the people around us and what we see online.
Understanding Your Financial Wins (Even If They Don’t Feel Like Enough)
Sometimes, it’s hard to recognize our own achievements, especially if we’re busy focusing on what others have.
The Reddit poster I mentioned had:
- Multiple income streams (a 9-to-5, a consulting gig, stock investments)
- A condo, car, and life insurance
- An emergency fund and a retirement plan
Those are solid accomplishments!
But because his friends were buying properties and jet-setting around the world, he felt like it wasn’t enough.
In Filipino culture, financial success often gets linked with certain milestones: owning a house, traveling abroad, or having a stable business.
But those milestones don’t define your worth or your security.
Financial stability is personal and looks different for everyone.
Here are some questions to help recognize and celebrate your own financial wins:
- Do you have a roof over your head?
- Do you have a source of income and savings?
- Have you been able to support your family or help a friend in need?
- Are you investing in your future, however small the steps might be?
These are all achievements. And recognizing them can make a big difference in how we view ourselves financially.
Social Phenomena That Affect Our Sense of Financial Security
Several social factors in the Philippines play a role in why many people feel behind, even if they’re financially secure.
- “Pakikisama” or Keeping Up with Others
The Filipino value of pakikisama (camaraderie) can lead us to compare ourselves more closely with others and feel pressure to keep up. If your friends are investing in properties or taking luxury vacations, it’s natural to feel a little left out. But remember, what’s right for others isn’t always what’s right for you. - Support System Expectations
Many Filipinos support family members financially. While it’s deeply fulfilling to help loved ones, it can also add financial pressure and a sense of falling “behind.” Be proud of this support—it’s an investment in relationships and values, which is often worth more than any material asset. - The “Katas ng Abroad” Mentality
Overseas workers often share stories of success through property investments or entrepreneurship back home. It’s inspiring but can sometimes set an unrealistic standard for those living in the Philippines. Acknowledge that everyone’s financial path is different, and success isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey.
Building Contentment: How to Shift from Comparison to Fulfillment
So, if comparison is a natural part of life, how can we find financial contentment? Here are a few strategies:
- Redefine Success on Your Terms
Success isn’t about owning a certain number of properties or traveling a certain number of times. Define what security and happiness mean to you. Maybe it’s being debt-free, having a small emergency fund, or simply being able to sleep well at night knowing you have a financial cushion. - Set Your Own Financial Goals
Create goals that align with your values and vision, not what others are doing. If owning a car or traveling isn’t a priority for you, that’s okay! Focus on what makes you feel accomplished, whether that’s building a small business, being financially independent, or saving up for a future hobby. - Practice Gratitude and Celebrate Small Wins
Gratitude is powerful. Instead of focusing on what you haven’t achieved, appreciate what you have. Make a list of your financial wins—big or small. Celebrate the fact that you’re making progress, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s journey. - Limit Social Media Exposure
Social media can be a great source of inspiration but also a trap for comparison. If scrolling makes you feel down about your own progress, take a break. Remind yourself that people usually share only the best parts of their lives online. - Focus on Financial Health, Not Just Wealth
Financial health isn’t just about the amount you’ve saved or invested; it’s also about your mindset and sense of security. If you’re anxious about money even with a solid portfolio, consider talking to a financial advisor or therapist to gain clarity and peace of mind.
Final Thoughts
Feeling “behind” is natural, but it doesn’t define your actual worth or success.
You’re on your own path, and there’s no deadline for financial milestones.
Remember, financial security and peace of mind are unique to each person.
What matters most is not how you compare to others, but how you feel about where you are.
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, celebrate what you have achieved.
After all, it’s not the numbers in your bank account that bring fulfillment—it’s how you live, the values you uphold, and the people you impact along the way.
So take a moment to breathe, be kind to yourself, and know that you’re exactly where you need to be on this journey.
