Money and marriage. Two things that can bring joy or tension into a relationship.
In the Philippines, where family ties run deep and financial obligations often extend beyond just the couple, talking about money before marriage can feel awkward, maybe even a little intimidating.
It’s easy to think, “We’ll figure it out later,” or, “Love is enough to get us through anything.”
But the truth is, not addressing financial issues before tying the knot can lead to bigger problems down the road.
We get it. You don’t want to spoil the romance with questions about debts, savings, and spending habits.
But here’s the thing: love alone doesn’t pay the bills.
Financial problems are one of the leading causes of marital stress worldwide, and the Philippines is no exception.
A 2019 survey showed that nearly half of Filipino couples argue about money—often because they weren’t on the same page from the start.
Talking about money doesn’t have to be a fight. In fact, it can bring you closer.
It’s not about interrogating each other—it’s about understanding how you both see and handle money, especially when you’re planning to build a life together.
Do you have similar financial goals? Are you both okay with supporting extended family? Will you pool your incomes, or keep things separate?
These are the kinds of questions that can make or break a marriage, so it’s better to ask them now rather than later.
To help you start these conversations, we’ve put together a list of 30 essential financial questions you should ask before getting married.
These aren’t just about numbers—they’re about values, expectations, and building a future where you’re both financially secure and emotionally aligned.
1. What debts do you have?
Let’s get this out in the open. Do you have credit card balances, student loans, personal loans, or a mortgage?
Don’t be shy—being honest about what you owe is crucial.
Debts might not seem like a big deal now, but they can seriously affect your future together.
If one of you is carrying a lot of debt, you’ll need to figure out how to pay it off without putting too much strain on your relationship.
You might even decide to tackle it together, but you won’t know until you ask.
2. What are your monthly expenses?
This might seem basic, but it’s a must-ask question. Everyone spends money differently—some people love to shop, while others prefer saving every peso.
You need to know what your partner spends on rent, groceries, subscriptions (yes, even Netflix!), and other day-to-day things.
Maybe they love splurging on weekend getaways, while you’re the type who sticks to a budget.
Understanding these habits can help prevent future arguments about where the money is going.
Download our free budgeting templates below to get started in taking control of your money.
3. Do you financially support your family?
In the Philippines, it’s pretty common to help out your family, especially if you’re the breadwinner or they helped you through school.
But this can become tricky when you’re building your own household.
How much of your income goes to your parents or siblings? Will this change after marriage?
You’ll need to talk about how you’re going to balance your family responsibilities with your shared financial goals—because it’s not just about you anymore.
4. How much do you earn?
This one can feel a bit sensitive, especially if there’s a big income difference between you. But it’s essential to have this conversation.
Maybe one of you earns significantly more, but how will that affect how you split expenses?
Or maybe one of you has a side hustle, which changes how much you bring in each month.
Getting clear on your actual earnings (including bonuses, freelance work, or commissions) will make budgeting much easier.
READ: The 50-30-20 Budget Guide for Filipinos
5. How do you feel about combining finances?
Joint bank accounts, separate accounts, or a mix of both?
Some couples are happy to share everything, while others prefer to keep their own money for personal expenses.
Neither approach is wrong, but you both need to be on the same page.
Discuss what feels right for you as a couple. Maybe you’ll agree to combine accounts for big expenses (like rent or bills) but keep some separate money for personal spending.
6. How much should we save each month?
This question goes beyond just agreeing to save money—it’s about setting real goals.
Are you both into saving aggressively, or is one of you more laid-back about it?
Talk about what you’re saving for: is it for emergencies, a future house, or even a travel fund?
It’s important to decide together how much you’ll set aside each month and for what purpose.
After all, saving consistently can help you avoid financial stress later on.
7. What’s your credit score?
Okay, this isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s important.
A credit score can affect your ability to take out loans for big things like a car or house.
If one of you has a low score, you might face higher interest rates or even get turned down for loans.
Don’t worry if one of you has a low score. What matters is being honest and figuring out how to improve it together, if necessary.
8. How do you handle financial emergencies?
Life is full of surprises—unfortunately, not all of them are good.
What happens if you lose your job or face a big medical bill?
It’s important to know how your partner reacts in these situations.
Are they the type to pull out the credit card, dip into savings, or borrow from family?
Having a game plan for emergencies can keep you both from panicking when things go wrong.
READ: Rainy Days Don’t Wait: Why Every Filipino Needs an Emergency Fund Now
9. What are your spending habits?
Are you a saver or a spender? Do you track every peso, or do you swipe your card without thinking?
We all have different spending styles, and it’s crucial to understand each other’s approach to money.
If one of you loves to spend on coffee or gadgets, while the other is super frugal, you’ll need to talk about how to meet in the middle so that it doesn’t lead to conflicts later.
10. How much do we want to spend on our wedding?
Weddings in the Philippines can be pricey, especially with big families and traditional celebrations.
You might dream of a grand reception with hundreds of guests, while your partner wants a simple civil ceremony.
Set a realistic budget for your wedding that you’re both comfortable with, and make sure to stick to it.
Getting on the same page now can save you a lot of stress—and money—later.
11. Do you have any savings or investments?
This is where you discuss your financial “safety nets.”
Does your partner have an emergency fund or are they living paycheck to paycheck?
Do they invest in the stock market, or is that something neither of you has thought about yet?
Knowing if either of you has savings or investments helps set the stage for your future goals, whether that’s buying a home, starting a business, or simply having peace of mind.
12. What are your retirement plans?
Retirement might seem far off, but it’s something worth talking about early on.
Do you both want to retire at 60, or are you hoping to keep working? How will you save for it, and do either of you have a plan in place?
In the Philippines, many people rely on their children to support them in retirement, but if you want to be financially independent, you’ll need to start planning together now.
13. How do we decide on big purchases?
When it comes to big-ticket items like cars, appliances, or even gadgets, how do you make decisions?
Will you consult each other before making a major purchase, or will one of you take the lead?
Having a process in place for these decisions can help avoid disagreements and ensure you’re both comfortable with where your money is going.
14. Who will pay the bills?
This may seem like a small thing, but it’s a question that matters.
Will you split the bills equally, or will one of you handle certain expenses while the other takes care of others?
And who will actually be responsible for paying them on time?
It’s good to decide early on to avoid misunderstandings about who’s in charge of what.
15. Do we want kids, and how will we save for them?
Raising children is a huge financial commitment. From diapers to education, kids come with a lot of expenses.
Talk about whether you both want children, how many, and how you’ll budget for them.
Will you start saving for their future education right away?
If you’re already thinking of starting a family, having a solid plan in place is crucial.
16. How do you feel about borrowing money?
Some people are comfortable with loans and credit cards, while others prefer to avoid debt altogether.
If one of you is okay with taking out a loan for a new car or home, and the other is debt-averse, you’ll need to figure out how you’ll handle borrowing money.
It’s about finding a balance that both of you are comfortable with.
17. What are your career goals?
Careers and income go hand in hand, so it’s important to know where your partner sees themselves in the future.
Do they plan to stay in their current job, or are they thinking about a career shift?
If one of you is planning to go back to school or start a business, it could impact your finances for a while, so it’s good to be on the same page.
18. How will we handle gifts for family?
Filipinos are known for giving gifts, whether it’s for birthdays, Christmas, or pasalubong.
But these small expenses can add up, especially if one of you has a big family.
Agree on a budget for family gifts, and talk about how much you’re willing to spend on these occasions.
This can help prevent any tension when you’re budgeting for bigger expenses.
READ: Budget-Friendly Aginaldo Ideas to Delight Your Inaanaks
19. How will we fund our future goals?
What do you both dream about? A house by the beach, traveling the world, starting a business?
Discuss how you’ll fund those goals.
Are you willing to make sacrifices now—like cutting back on eating out or vacations—to save for the future?
Knowing your priorities as a couple helps guide your financial decisions.
20. What happens if one of us loses our job?
No one wants to think about losing their job, but it happens.
If one of you loses your source of income, how will you handle it?
Will you rely on savings, or will the other partner take on more financial responsibility for a while?
Having a plan for this kind of scenario can save you both a lot of stress if it ever happens.
21. Do you have any financial fears or insecurities?
Money is deeply emotional. Maybe your partner grew up in a family where money was tight, and they’re worried about not having enough.
Or maybe you’ve had financial struggles in the past that affect how you see money now.
Being open about these feelings can help you support each other better and avoid misunderstandings.
22. How do you feel about financial independence?
Some people like to be fully financially independent, while others are happy to share everything in a marriage.
Are you okay with your partner having their own money for personal expenses, or do you want to pool all your resources?
This is especially important if one of you is the primary earner.
23. What’s your risk tolerance?
When it comes to investments, how much risk are you comfortable with?
Some people are okay with taking high risks for potentially big rewards, while others prefer to play it safe.
If you’re planning to invest together in stocks, property, or a business, it’s important to know where you both stand on risk.
24. Do you have life insurance?
Life insurance can be a tricky topic to bring up, but it’s important, especially if you’re planning to have kids or buy a house.
If one of you were to pass away, would the other be financially protected?
If neither of you has life insurance yet, it’s worth looking into as a couple.
25. How will we support each other’s dreams?
It’s not just about joint financial goals—what about your individual dreams?
Maybe one of you wants to start a small business, go back to school, or even travel solo for a while.
Will you be financially supportive of each other’s aspirations?
Discuss how you’ll balance these personal goals with your shared financial responsibilities.
26. What are your thoughts on retirement?
Even though retirement feels like a long way off, it’s worth discussing now.
Do you both want to retire early, or are you planning to work as long as possible?
How much do you want to save for retirement, and where do you see yourselves living?
Having a clear vision of your retirement plans can help guide your long-term savings strategy.
27. How do you handle financial stress?
Money is one of the biggest sources of stress in relationships.
When times get tough financially, do you tend to avoid the issue, or do you face it head-on?
Understanding how your partner deals with financial stress can help you both navigate difficult situations together without adding unnecessary strain to your relationship.
28. What are our financial priorities?
Everyone has different financial priorities.
For one of you, saving for a house might be the top priority, while the other dreams of traveling.
Talk about what matters most to each of you and how you’ll balance those priorities.
This can help ensure that you’re both working toward the same financial goals without feeling like you’re sacrificing too much.
29. How will we manage health care costs?
Medical expenses can be a huge financial burden, especially if one of you has a chronic illness or if unexpected medical issues arise.
Talk about how you’ll manage health care costs.
Do you both have health insurance? Will you need to set aside money for medical emergencies?
Having a plan in place can give you peace of mind.
30. What financial habits do we want to build together?
Lastly, talk about the financial habits you want to cultivate as a couple.
Maybe you want to have regular money check-ins, set monthly savings goals, or agree on a “no-spend” day each week.
Building healthy financial habits together will help strengthen your relationship and set you up for long-term success.
How to Make the Conversation Easier
We know—it’s not always easy to talk about money. But here are a few tips to make the conversation a little less stressful and a lot more productive:
- Start Small: Don’t try to tackle every single financial detail in one sitting. Break it up into a series of smaller, manageable conversations. Start with the easier topics and work your way up to the more complicated ones.
- Set the Right Mood: Timing matters. Don’t start a heavy money conversation when either of you is stressed, tired, or in a bad mood. Choose a calm, relaxed time—maybe over a quiet dinner at home or during a coffee date—when you’re both in a good headspace.
- Be Honest: It might feel uncomfortable to admit you have debt or bad spending habits, but honesty builds trust. The more open you are, the easier it will be to find solutions together.
- Stay Solution-Oriented: Instead of getting caught up in who’s responsible for a financial problem, focus on how you can solve it together. Teamwork is key when it comes to money management in a marriage.
Final Thoughts
These 30 questions might feel like a lot, but they’re an important part of building a strong financial foundation as a couple.
Addressing financial questions before marriage helps you both understand where you stand—not just financially, but also in terms of your values, priorities, and future plans. It’s about making sure you’re both on the same page, so you can avoid unnecessary stress and surprises later on.
Remember, it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out right away. What matters is that you’re having these conversations and being honest with each other.
Money may not be the most romantic topic, but it’s the backbone of a strong, lasting relationship. By openly discussing finances, you’re setting yourselves up for a partnership that’s built on trust, teamwork, and shared responsibility.
At the end of the day, love is what brought you together, but a solid financial foundation will help keep you together. With clear communication, mutual understanding, and a plan you both believe in, you can build a future that’s not only financially secure, but also full of love, laughter, and shared dreams.